The Rebel Queen

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Once upon a time…

That’s usually how all love stories and fairy tales begin or with something equally as cheesy and ridiculous as that well worn phrase we all grew up hearing. The familiar tones of stories with beautiful endings for the perfect couples. The princess always finds her prince. The evil witch always burns. The kingdom lives and thrives under the rule of a happy young couple groomed to be the new king and queen and well, as the story goes, everyone lives happily ever after…

I’m as guilty as everyone when it comes to consuming book after book of these pale painted “romances” which lack substance and paint all girls as weaklings but, what if I told you that with a new age comes a  new story. A story called reality. In this story there is no damsel in distress. On the contrary, this girl was groomed to be her own  warrior. Her armor is not shining but dented, scuffed and worn from the battles she has faced head on. The wars she has worn and the milestones she has conquered have left her with scars she regards with pride. This is no weak princess. Continue reading

My Heart Beat

Every day I wake up and fight with myself to get out of bed and face the dawn with a smile. Sword at the ready to take on the demons waiting patiently to attack. Every day the shadows creep closer and every day I push them further away. It’s a constant battle. A new pain, a new ache and a new scar to prove that each day came and went leaving me as the survivor.

Neil Armstrong said “Every human has a finite amount of heart beats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine”

Continue reading

The Business of Marriage.

Growing up in a relatively traditional Indian home “Failure” is one of those taboo words you never mention unless you want to be condemned. It’s quite possibly on the same level as admitting to having contracted the plague or H1N1.

So in the current culture of success being solely based on how many A’s you get in Matric and how rich you manage to make yourself by 25, the pressure is always on.  You are always expected to achieve nothing less than exceptional. Every parent believes they have groomed the world’s next Mukesh Ambani.

We are taught to dress ourselves in the latest fashions,  buy the most expensive make up and drive the fastest sports car our dad’s can give us. Our generation has slowly been conditioned to believe status means more than character and that money replaces love.

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Sounds harsh?

A friend of mine recently expressed an interest in a girl and was willing to meet her to decide if he wanted to propose to her…(yes, this sounds a touch old fashioned but he is one of the few who enjoys doing everything the correct way) Instead of her mother running the usual background check via the “samoosa gang” and the “Who’s daughter you” committee to see if he was a decent guy with a good reputation, her only request was “make sure he comes with his degree and university results.”

She could have just asked for his proof of employment and current bank balance… Or maybe a CV, since it seems that this is going to be a business meeting instead of a marriage proposal. Maybe the mother is justified but that seems a little harsh considering he isn’t even sure he wants to marry your daughter yet… It’s almost as if she’s conditioning her daughter to think:

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I thought that was the pinnacle of ridiculous requests until I asked a few other friends and the list included (and I quote word for word):

  • She asked me if I would buy her three Mac lipsticks a month
  • Can I afford an apartment in Dubai for holidays twice a year
  • Do I own a business
  • Does my apartment have enough cupboard space for her 30 pairs of shoes
  • she said “I expect R5000 spending a month minimum and a BMW with a drop top. If you can’t afford that, don’t even bother”

Shock? Horror? Despair?

Perhaps I am being a touch harsh, after all, I know there are tons of girls out there who aren’t this shallow or demanding but I have to ask:

What on earth do you think marriage is?

Where is the logic in asking a 20 something year old, straight out of varsity, man to fuel and pay for a lifestyle your dad worked half his life to fund for you?  And why do you seem to think you are entitled to such lavish luxury?

When did a person’s success become linked solely to money? When did we stop measuring a person’s worth and marriage-ability on their character and personality and start measuring it on their ability to give you five star accommodation and a luxury car?

When did something as sacred as Marriage become nothing more than a business? Nothing more than a means to get the lifestyle you think you deserve?

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Ladies, yes you have rights but these rights do not include your ridiculous demands for luxury. Guys, you too have rights but remember she is your wife not your slave…

In the business of marriage, the person who fails to understand the concept of partnership is ultimately at a loss.

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But that’s just my opinion.

After all, I am not married nor am I a business major so I merely know the little I gathered from watching those around me… In all honesty, much like business and economics scares me senseless, this new concept of “The Marriage Business” truly terrifies me.

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Quietly Calculating,

BrokeBella

A Hairy Story

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In the words of Coco Chanel, ” A woman  who cuts her hair is about to change her life.”

Let’s just take a moment to reflect on one of the many topics that seem to boggle the minds of men every where, Woman and Their Hair. See it’s quiet simple really, a woman’s hair is her crown. It’s her statement to the world and whether she covers it all day or leaves it loose for the wind to caress.

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At some point we’ve all been seduced to cut our locks as short as possible without looking like a member of the local boys soccer team… And at other times we’ve grown it so long our mums held us down and cut it by force simply because looking like Rapunzel isn’t very practical for a nine year old who can’t tie her own hair…

For most of our childhoods we experiment with different lengths of hair, fringes, bangs, little tufts sticking up, pony tails at the very top of our heads, hair styles that belong in cartoons and even those dreaded mushroom haircuts. But every woman finds that one hairstyle that she will stick with th

rough the whole of high school. It’s her signature look. Her entire image is built around that hair do.

Then high school ends and we all have this sudden urge to make a change… And guess what’s the first thing we all tackle…

Bingo!

OUR HAIR.

Now the guys are probably sitting there thinking to themselves “why the hell would you do that if you already have a signature look?”

As Chrisette Michele puts it “Truth is, I cut my hair for freedom, not for beauty.” For most of us dying our hair blue, pink or even orange was a sign of rebellion. Chopping half your hair off the ultimate symbol of freedom. For a few days we revel in the light and often healthier feeling hair. Then the next week we realise we miss our long hair…

Why?

It’s simple, we had a routine. A set number of steps that en

sured your hair would look semi-decent every single day of the week. With a new hair do comes new steps… suddenly you have fly aways and cow licks popping up all over your head. Your pony tail suddenly resembles the tail of the chihuahua down the street. And sporting a messy bun is as likely as you riding a unicorn…

Suddenly the new hair cut is a disaster… even though it makes you look like Victoria Beckham. On a serious note though lets be honest your haircut gives you a boost of confidence. A fresh outlook. A sweet new view on reality…. In the end, even when the hairdresser does the exact opposite of what you asked, regardless of how much work it is to maintain your new do it’s worth the drama.

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Because let’s face it, Ariel Meadow Stallings styled it perfectly when she said “Life, Weddings, Relationships, road trips, gardening, making out, haircuts: few of the fun things in life always go as expected.”

So here’s to bad hair days and good hair days. To natural hair and Bleached Hair.

Here’s to expressing yourself any way you see fit.

May you experience:

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And until next time, may your personality be as epic and as sexy as your hair.

Stay Tangle Free And Glossy,

Broke Bella

In The Name Of Shoes

As someone who is short and I mean just barely scratching 5 ft I’m usually the girl who wears nine inch heels and rocks them. Why? It’s simple. I need to wear shoes high enough to match my personality.

That and I’m a sucker for a pair of sky high strappy sandals in my size.  To be perfectly honest, my future husband should probably thank his lucky stars that my feet are so tiny. If my feet had been a size or two bigger I’d literally own thousands of shoes by now. But alas, I am cursed with feet the size of a garden gnome and no one makes gorgeous heels for tiny feet.

Most people just assume I wear my heels to give me a little extra height or because they match my outfit. But one of my best friend is a strange creature who feels the need to question and analyze everything. So one day while we were sipping coffee I get thrown the question “Why do you do it? Why do you torture your feet in those monstrosities?” To be fair I was caught off guard or I would have chucked my coffee across the table at such blasphemous words but instead I answered with the words of Christian Louboutin:

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Needless to say my friend was aghast. So aghast it took a full ten minutes before the topic was mentioned again. This time with a timid “So explain your obsession”

In respect of the softer approach I decided to introduce my friend to the world of heels. It started with a quick trip to the local shoe shop and then a quick demonstration of how to pair your shoes and your outfit. Within ten minutes I witnessed the birth of a love affair.

Her eyes sparkled and she walked with a sway in her hips and a confidence that rivaled a run way models. That my dear friends is the magic of a new pair of shoes.

Heels magically cure your insecurities and make you fearless.

After all, how can you be scared of  new heights when you’re wearing the sky scraper…

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Live by Lip Gloss

I’m one of those people who either leave the house with a full face of make up or no make up at all, regardless of which day you catch me though I’ll always have lip gloss on. And until recently, no one ever questioned me about my lip gloss habit. Everyone either just accepted it or didn’t pay enough attention to notice it. Then I found a friend who has a keen eye for detail and pretty soon she noticed that I carried at least three different glosses in my bag.

That’s when the questions started. She started asking about lip gloss flavours and colours and formulas. She questioned how healthy it was for me to always wear gloss and whether I ever wore regular lip ice or chapstick. She quizzed me about different brands and products. She basically forced me into explaining my lip gloss selection process and then hauled me off to the mall to demonstrate it. After three long hours, I left the store with three new glosses and all she bought was her regular mint scented lip ice.

Basically, she didn’t learn a single thing from me. Because I don’t have a process, like Vanessa Hudgens said “I just lip gloss. it doesn’t matter if it’s $2 or $30.” I like to feel the smooth, silky feeling of a good lip gloss and the scent of candy or cherries or plain old vanilla even just makes me smile. The best part of a good lip gloss is the taste.

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Let’s face it most people won’t understand the attraction of an amazing lip gloss but for those of us who live by lip gloss we have developed an understanding that the right lip gloss flavour can be the deciding factor of life or death. For example a good lip gloss can decide whether you will have a social life on the day or whether you will be socially awkward and witness the death of your social life on the day.  Lip gloss may only be a pop of colour on your lips but it is also the pop of confidence you need to finally go after all those dreams you pretend to have forgotten.

So maybe I’m not addicted to the lip gloss life, maybe I’m just addicted to the confidence?

Or maybe I’m just making sure that if I die chasing my impossible dreams, I’ll be a good looking corpse?

What ever the reason is, I don’t see me giving up my lip gloss lifestyle any time soon.

So until next time,

Keep it glossy.

xoxo

Ra’eesah

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