Media v.s. Reality: Monster-in-law Hoax?

After opening myself up to questions from my readers, I was inundated with girls asking me how I decided to get married and whether I had been as terrified as they are about getting married in case I had a terrible mum-in-law. These questions truly scare me. Have we really lost our ability to trust in love and happiness?

It’s sad to see that generations of girls no longer see marriage as something beautiful. Instead they fear becoming a statistic or a horror story told on Facebook and in magazines (with their names concealed and changed). An entire age of women feel terror instead of dreamy-eyed bliss when thinking about their big day. They dread having a new family, moving out of their comfy homes and into another but most of all they fear the idea of marriage itself…

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Writers Block Q&A: Everything From Myself To The Burning Marriage Questions Answered

Since returning from honeymoon I’ve suffered a serious case of writers block. Now that we’re all settled into our new home I decided it’s time to break the block. So in a creative attempt to get me back to writing I opened myself up to being questioned. The response was a little overwhelming, especially the number of questions sent to me in private, so in an attempt to answer everything I will be doing this in two posts.

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The Engaged Girl: Wedding or Marriage

 Jane Austen said, ” A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a second.”

As the wedding draws ever closer, I am starting to realize that I’ve been narrow-mindedly focused on the wedding while the reality of my impending marriage has not become a conscious thought yet. I’ve imagined everything from the center pieces for the wedding to driving away with my groom at my side while waving out the back window as we drive to our happily ever after. But, in all honesty, I’ve only considered very small details about the marriage that lays ahead.

IMG_20161025_163236.jpgYesterday, as I sat packing my (rather extensive) book shelves into tiny boxes. Sorting out what I .am taking with me and deciding who gets specific books from my gigantic collection of novels, it hit me. Next year this time, I am not going to be sitting in a pair of old worn denims and a spaghetti top day dreaming on my bedroom floor. I’ll be in a different country with a
different family and a completely different routine. I will be responsible for way more than a few books and making my bed.

There’ll be dinners and family time with people I am not familiar with yet. People I’d see every day and spend hours with. There’ll be another mummy in my life to turn to for  quick advice because mine will be a little too far away. Another dad who’ll ask me to grab him stuff from the fridge when I’m walking past it and more siblings to laugh and joke with. Next year this time home (in my mind at least) will be more there than here.

To be honest…

That terrifies me.

I grew up super close to my family. We have “Sunday Family Days” and eat together every night. There’s an unspoken rule that regardless of whether or not you’re hungry you find your butt to your seat at the supper table and spend at least an hour with everyone in the house. We’re a big family and while we may have issues (like any family does) we are close. Thus, the thought that pretty soon I will go from having seven or eight other people in the house at any given time to sharing a home with only my husband is a tiny bit intimidating.

Don’t get me wrong, I do look forward to having my own space and being with the person I love. I never really considered what a change like this would entail. From the beginning, I’ve been subconsciously aware that I will be leaving this comfy reality of mine to create a new one once I get married. We all know there’s a ring to come and a house or some nice clothes. We’re conditioned from a young age to associate marriage and weddings with the princess life.

Alas even though I’ve always known there’s more to getting married than just the wedding and the fancy outfits, I never sat down to contemplate the realities of marriage. See, I’ve no interest inthe material objects (if I did I would simply buy them for myself not get hitched). No ring will tell me how much or how little to love… And yet, I (like most brides) have focused my attention to the smallest objects for a single day.

Perhaps it is a distraction or a coping mechanism to focus on the tangible and ignore the intangible until it becomes tangible? What ever it is, I’ve used it to ignore the change that is looming closer. But now as the months disappear and the days flutter away I find my attention shifting. My thoughts are slowly focusing on the tiny details that lead me down the road and towards my new home. The important things. The marriage to come.

So, I sit here contemplating all the questions I haven’t asked and all the situations I can’t imagine yet and I’ve decided that for me the wedding is but a distraction and the marriage to come is the part I’m truly excited for…

Contemplating Changes To Come,

Brokebella

 

I Said Yes

Today marks three months to go to the biggest day of my life. A day that will change not only the city I live in but my last name too..

That’s right, I’m getting married…

Now I could say we have a corny love story to share but… Oh who am I kidding, this is as fairy tale corny as one can find. An unusual string of random events brought two complete strangers together and left us just a tiny bit winded.

Let’s set the scene. Around June of 2015, a groggy (and well medicated) girl in the grip of a strange illness finds herself randomly added to a Whatsapp group full of strangers. As usual my big mouth put me directly in the spotlight and the fact that all I could do was lay in bed I was probably the most active member in the group. Pretty soon the two of us moved our friendship off the group and I bagged myself a best friend and co-conspirator. The group probably rued the day we started talking. Thinking back, the two of us were the equivalent of a group of kids who spent the day devouring a candy stores entire contents and then washed it all down with a can of coke. We spoke about everything from cars to weddings and even pranked the group on more than one occasion. Never once thinking that a year later our pranks would be reality.

This amazing man would call me every day after my classes ended and talk till someone picked me up from varsity. These calls quickly evolved and we began video calling and learning the nuances of each others personalities. Perhaps the long distance gave us a chance to become best friends before falling in love or maybe it just removed the physical element for us so we’d be able to do things the right way.

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Now I’ll skip all the boring stuff and get to the good stuff.

By the time we decided we wanted to be more than friends we’d already been acting that way for months. So it was pretty normal to us that our first meeting involved our entire families meeting each other. We were pretty confident that this was what we wanted and didn’t see the point in delaying it. So first meeting aside, I can say that I suddenly understand that cheesy “click” everyone always tells us about. You really do just know when the person is right. There’s a sense of virtue that encompasses the entire meeting. So, it was no surprise when his mum phoned mine to ask if we could “make it official” after the meeting. But the surprise was still to come.

You guessed it. In typical movie fashion he surprised me by showing up on the day turning the day into an engagement. Though we officially did the more traditional route (I’ll skip the sweetmeat feeding details), he made sure to catch me alone.  In a cute moment sank down on one knee and asked me to be his…

And I (obviously) said “Hell Yes!” 

Still glowing,

Brokebella

Death,  thou art strange… 

Death,

Thou art strange… 

So far from what we expect.
Unpredictable and eccentric in your choices, you leave shock waves that linger.

Alas,  you have snatched another unsuspecting soul, 

And while we’ve always known

you work in mysterious ways, 

We are still caught off guard. 

In shock,  this poem is created. 

At first as a tribute to you…

But now as the pen shapes these verses

It seems to be more a reminder

Of life’s short span.

A way to remember

the loved ones we’ve lost.
But  mostly,

an attempt to understand…

For Death,

You are a mystery.

A surprise guest.

Unexpected and  often unwelcome.

Yet you visit everyone any way.

Death,

Thou art truly strange.

*In memory of the loved ones who’s lives ended much sooner than we expected. In our prayers, you will always be remembered*

The Emperors New Condition

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away, there was an emperor who ruled in what most perceived a truly lack-luster manner. He slept all day and walked the halls of the palace by night. He was moody (temperamental even) and would always complain he felt sick. At first the palace had scrambled to find answers but slowly everyone began to believe he was simply putting on a show.

The servants grew irate at the man’s impossible demands and his irrational sleeping patterns. You could hear the frustration growing and when he fell asleep in the middle of a state of the nation address the kingdom threw their arms up in uproar. Matters grew worst  from that point on, for no one in the kingdom could understand how he could be so careless.

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Feigned Bravery

Every child has that one song that defined their approach to the world. For some it was a golden oldie and for others it was the theme song of Mickey Mouse Club House. For me, as embarrassed as I am to admit this, the most memorable song from my childhood, comes from the Disney classic The King and I  . A simple song called Whistle a happy tune

Specifically the line, “you may be as brave as you make believe you are…” , was the most memorable and defining part of my childhood.

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Black Cat, Blue Sea Award

 

Silence is golden… until you’re a blogger who disappears for nearly two months with absolutely no explanation.  I’ve been silent for quiet a while, I took the time to recover from getting sick and  then thoroughly enjoyed a month of spiritual cleansing during our fasting months and until today I haven’t really been able to muster up any motivation to sit and blog.

However, this  is definitely an exciting way to come back. I’ve been nominated for “The Black Cat. Blue Sea Award” by the amazing Jumibum. I am extremely honoured that she believes, I not only fit the criteria for the award but that I’ve touched her enough to be nominated.

Let’s get into discussing the award and away from my babbling.

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Don’t Conform; Transform!

I don’t usually reblog, but this time I could not resist. *Apologies for my lack of posting, I’ve been a bit ill but do enjoy this post from Paradoxical Personality *

Paradox Personality

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Coming home from campus is exhausting when you live in the “bundus”. The traffic is crazy from Johannesburg City to, well, the “bundus”. It takes approximately an hour to an hour and a half during the peak hours. You’re tired, hungry, moody and still need to build up the energy to study and complete assignments when you get home. This is how I feel every single day. Campus isn’t what tires you out, it’s the travelling. By the time I get home all I really want to do is wash up, eat and sleep. Instead, the drive home is a mental planning process; I work out a plan in my head to get some studying in, relax and get a good night’s sleep that’s fit for a Queen. I get home around 7PM. My family’s already having supper and I join in, in the sweet chaos of the day’s events. It’s…

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“The problem with losing your anonymity is that you can never go back…” ~ Maria Maples

Even now, as I sit at my desk typing this message, I feel my throat closing as anxiety and fear meld into a thrilling combination touched with a slight bit of anticipation. For a while, I have been toying with the idea of revealing my identity .

As most of you are aware this blog is mostly my journey and thoughts on every thing and anything. In the interest of building the blog, I wanted to introduce a number of ideas that would require me to reveal my identity and feature in the photos etc that I use in the blog.

Since I am probably the most indecisive and conflicted human when it comes to things like this, I figured I probably need assistance making this decision. Considering that the blog has recently hit 100 followers, I decided that the only logical way to properly decide is to ask the people this would affect. So, without further faffing and babbling from me, I am asking you (as my main reason for keeping this blog going), What do you think?

Do you want to know who I am or do you want me to remain anonymous?

Love Always,

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